![]() ![]() On Mardi Gras, it’s pretty customary to start drinking the moment you get up, and boy did I ever. A few years ago, on Mardi Gras (I live in New Orleans now) I just straight up peed my pants. I shut my locker door, retreating outside to walk laps, or whatever nonsense activity they were having us suffer through that day.ģ. The girl chuckled and, my face, as it’s been known to do, betrayed me by turning purple. Now, what I was thinking in my head was that sodomy had something to do with “out of the ordinary sex,” which I knew S&M fell under the umbrella of, but I obviously chose the wrong word here, and there was no turning back. “Do you know what that means?” She asked me, pointing at the new leather bondage bracelet poking out from the sleeve of my sweatshirt. One day, I was in the gym locker room, preparing to pull my gym pants on OVER the jeans I was wearing, because I absolutely refused to change for gym, when a much cooler, much more goth girl walked over. But I didn’t have my “look” together just yet. In my freshman year of high school, I was just getting into what would become a decades-long goth phase. They walked away, and I went back to my desk.Ģ. My mouth was still full, I muttered “nice to meet you” to the author, while putting out my thieving, ashamed, literally crumby hand to shake his. I felt my face turn purple, and quickly flung the chunk of bread in my hand behind me into the sink. Next to him was a writer working on a biography about K. ![]() Mouth completely full of bread and holding the yet to be devoured remaining chunk in my hand, I meet the gaze of Captain K Records himself, Calvin Johnson. So I tore off a huge chunk and started eating it. I knew full well that these were for a local food pantry, but all my brain could do at that moment was push the “eat that bread” button. One day, at the K Records building, I went downstairs to the little kitchen area to make myself coffee and saw multiple loaves of French bread up on the counter. I was also really bad at managing money so when I ended up spending every last dime I had on an orange futon for my apartment, I didn’t have anything left for stuff like, you know, food. Small labels don’t have much money, so I wasn’t paid much money. The time I left New York to move to Olympia and work as the in-house publicist for K Records. A few key moments that come to mind include:ġ. I have embarrassed myself probably thousands of times in my life so far. Aside from living in our skulls - and firing off motor neurons from the cerebellum that make it possible to move our weird bones - our brain’s second biggest job seems to be churning out old memories that we spend our lives trying to forget. ![]()
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